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and I still think that Duck got it right on his first post. I read OP's exchange with sphynx and my first thought was that OP doesn't ever listen. She hears what Wife want real sex Polk Inlet she wants to hear. Listening is active. There is purpose. The goal is complete understanding. You are going to try to things through the other's eyes. OP you did not do this, and this is why you are completely confused. This was an ongoing issue that this guy finally threw his hands up in defeat. 
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When things change in a persons life they do what they have to, to make it back to how they had it. Sounds heavily like he has been in control and you've gone with things. Now that he's lost control he's used ultimatums and other tactics to try and grab it back. It looks like your marriage can still be fixed if you really want it to be but you have to take control as well too and also understand that you are partly to blame for the current situation that it's in. My marriage fell apart due to lack of true communication and it sounds like you guys have been lacking at that too.. Therapy can help but only if you guys are both willing to work at it. The ultimatum is a bluff by the way.. He back down. You must show him though that you are very serious that you move on without him if you guys can't work things out together. Make him also your value..
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