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Former Marine here looking for someone who wants to play with a hung tattooed jar head. Include a couple of pictures in your response and the day of the week in the so I know you are real. Looking for tonight. 42 yrs old, been all my life but thought it was a phase. Thru ignorance I thought marriage would fix everything. After a few yrs the urges came back but I was able to control them. Now, since late 30s theyve gotten stronger and stronger and at the same time my urge and ability for sex with my wife is down to 0. Now the dilema, my urges for a have grown constantly. I have never given in to them out of respect to my wife. IF I were to fess up Id lose everything, destroy my family and nice as I and them know it. If I played on the side with a another married in the same situation would that be the lesser of two evils ? I mean, itd save my marriage although I would be a cheater. I feel terrible about all of this and IF Idve know this would turn into this, Id never have gotten married. ALSO how safe is kissing and performing oral sex ? any advice guys ???????? please help with any advice, experience. I hate to cheat but hate to destroy them, her, etc.. Its me inside.
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I could be like your boyfriend, but not your boyfriend. You can talk to me, me, have sex with me, but not have to answer to me. All of the benefits you would want from a boyfriend without being tied down to me. Sound good? if you want to know more, me. My sub and I started out in a bedroom only D/s setup, One day, we were sitting together on my couch, and in the course of discussion decided that we enjoyed our roles enough to take into the regular aspect of our life. We're not completely for any number of reasons, but it's definitely way more than just limited to sex. But you're asking about balance. The way he and I balance things is that he generally has a rule/punishment and reward structure (that we discussed beforehand based on limits, wants and needs) he's to abide by. For example: he's a masochist, so pain is a reward for him. In the rare times I've had to punish him, it's really more verbal in nature like telling him he's being inappropriate and it displeases me, which is a HUGE thing for him. He's a pleaser, loves tasks and service. Disappointing me is upsetting to him, so mental punishments are better for him than most physical ones. There are some things I don't have control over, like his finances and his creative outlets (his band, his writing). These are areas that existed before I did in his life, and I prefer to leave them to him. -Though I'd be remiss to say that he doesn't ask for counsel every once in a while regarding these issues, I generally don't give orders about them unless I feel he's being completely unreasonable that hasn't happened as of yet, and it's been nearly 3 years. It's going to be trial and error the entire way, I think. There have been times with my sub that fell flat, and some were fantastic. That's the only way you're going to know what works for you and what doesn't.
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