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Married 6 years, 3 (ages 8, 5, and infant). He has cheated twice ( and ). We've been trying to save the marriage, and when things are calm, they're definitely improving. However, every single time he gets mad, he says he doesn't me and throws out the threat of divorce. I, in turn, get mad, then sad, and then after a couple days of mutual silence, I inevitably end up apologizing for whatever the initial disagreement was about. I realize I've essentially trained him to behave this way. While I won't take full responsibility for his behavior, I do recognize that I play a role in this worn out game, too. I don't know how to change my reaction in such a way as to stop this stupid, juvenile cycle. Packing up and leaving just to his bluff is not something I'm willing to do. Even if it was a practical option, I not put my through that confusion. So, for anyone who's been through something similar, should I view this is a control tactic and mind game? He clearly isn't going to divorce me, as he's threatened it for years and never actually followed through (aside from the cheating, which I am working quite hard to forgive). I just don't know if I should view it as emotional -and therefore, potentially fixable with the right help or as his way of telling me how he really feels inside. I don't understand the way his mind works, so I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just tired of the game, and tired of the threats and cruelty. I am not planning on leaving him (at least not yet), because I the good parts of him when we're getting along. I understand that he doesn't possess the emotional maturity to process his anger appropriately. What do you think? If you're going to post some nasty response about how fat, lazy, etc. I must be please don't. I'm looking for some honest thoughts, not more. Thank you.
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