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So they wont hear you say.. for you to make a decent, relationship. Sounds like he's been his own for 45 years, and never had to learn compromise as he would have with a former wife or. He's been spoiled, and he likes it that way. Nothing wrong with that, but he have to be HIGHLY motivated to change. For you to make this work, I think you either have to either: (a) commit to a program of working through issues as he learns to give up a bit of his control and power in the interest of compromise, and learn some anger management (both of which he have to be motivated to do), or (b) learn to give in a whole lot more than you're doing, so he maintains the same autonomy he's always had (and you lose yours). Some of what you describe are just working out the kinks finding what works for each other and what doesn't. Not looking for affection and reassurance when he's in "work mode" and not asking him about his day, for example, no biggie. But other things his quick temper and inability to manage disagreements calmly and reasonably, and disappearing to 'pout' for weeks or months on end are good reasons to end the relationship and look elsewhere. You're grieving, of course. Let it run its course, realize it's not the end of the world. There ARE better men out there who are a much better match for you. 50 is far from too old to find one! Remember this: If you had stayed with this guy another 5 or 10 years, and then you or he ends it what then? You'll be in the same situation, but several years older. Be glad it's ending now, rather than later!
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